08 Match Reports P3

25th May v Merton...Cancelled only 6 available.

1st June v Old Paulines....Well "flaming June" arrived following the abysmal bank holiday weekend... just as well we cancelled eh?... but still not summer weather!...Perhaps it was the overcast, slightly muggy conditions that made President Howard fall over during the pre-match catching practice and slice open the bridge of his nose on the peak of his cap!!...or maybe he's just a plonker...either way it bled like crazy and caused us much hilarity...such is the vote of sympathy from our lot!... what made him drop 2 catches in the field and "play -on" for a duck with the bat only he knows... concussion?? ...

"benefit of the doubt" as they say!!...but f**k it was funny!!..This is why the man is the right President!!

Anyhow...we were on the seconds pitch as some rowdy rabble were taking it far too seriously on the main ground, Rocky continued his role as top tosser by winning and making us field. I was dealing with a personal crisis, the death of our 2 week old kitten, and distraught kids on the phone, so my head was not in the game...but maybe cricket is a game not to think about too much as I bowled quite well and top scored (30) with the bat! weird!.. Great to see the return of The Ballantines and even VIP flew in from Austria to field at long leg, not bowl and not get to bat...oh well! A slow scoring match initially with a tight spell from Ali D...1 for 14 off 10 inc 3 maidens, top stuff! A slightly shaky start for young Will Ballantine with 3 wides in a 9 ball over, but although wicketless, once he got it right, he was fairly economical.... & made up for it later taking a good catch off the bowling of Alex Cox...yes the scorebook reads...caught Willie, bowled Cox...arf arf!  Coxy himself also making his mark with 2 catches, one an absolute screamer off Andy Georghiou's first ball!!.. The skipper (not me!) joking about wanting a "peach" of a delivery from our sponsor and boy he got it! Not quite sure how they managed it but the game went from 80 odd for 2 in just over two hours (the first boundary hit after about 1 3/4 hrs of the innings! getting a huge cheer from their bench and a round of applause from us!!) to 171 for 5 in the 20 minutes or so approaching tea!! The usual excellent spread... though i did think there could have been a few more cakes!!! (that is a joke there was thousands!)..was taken on their balcony...it will be nice when it's finished that place! Thinking i was having to leave early to go to work that evening Rocky suggested I open with Max, so padded up, off I trot, "see you shortly".. An hour and a half later and I'm eventually 5th out having watched wickets tumble at the other end, that was not the plan!... I still ache today (thurs)!! 3 ducks including a goldie for young Will and Trevor Perera contributing 19 and we were always a bit behind the run rate as we found it equally difficult to score off a pudding of a pitch. Cox (28no) and Georghiou (23no) saving the day with a not out 7th wicket stand of 43 for an honourable draw and we go back there in about 4 weeks time!

Other highlight of the day was the announcement by Teflon Tim Ballantine that he is now a "published author"... not quite in JK Rowlings league yet but nevertheless he got £300 for his story about "Larissa - The Acid Bath Killer" in this months Murder Most Foul Magazine..no i've never heard of it either... but well done Tim!

Old Paulines 171 for 5 dec (Time) Chadwick 120 for 6 Result: Draw

Weather:Overcast/Muggy Toss won By: Chadwick (Field)

M Howard b 0 Fawcett ct 30 Lailey ct wk 0 Perera ct 19 Jerricho ct 10 Cox no 28 W Ballantine ct 0

Georghiou no 23 Dougall, Vip Puwak-etc, T Ballantine dnb

Dougall 10 3 14 1 W Ballantine 7 0 20 0 Perera 5 0 25 0 Fawcett 7 0 26 0 Cox 8 0 52 1

Georghiou 5.1 0 30 2

8th June v Old Dorkinians - Cancelled only 5 available...going down!

15th June v Surrey Ovalites apparently we lost badly...but Looker got 6 for 30 something...whoopie!

is anyone likely to bother sending a match report? or even just letting me know the actual score??

3 weeks later... finally nabbed the scorebook and am making it up...which pretty much looks like the events of the day as it seems we were there to "make up the numbers" as Ovalites cruised to a quite convincing victory! New Skipper lailey is proving to be a top tosser having won 5 out of 6 and he put them in.. 72 runs later came the first of 6 wickets for Giles "e'aintno" Looker, who ended with 6 for 37 off 13...there endeth the highlights of the bowling display! as only young Ed Smith took the other wicket as ovalites declared at tea on 172 for 7. We welcomed to our shores an overseas guest, a friend and fellow player of our president's USA club Corinthians CC...a fine all rounder by the name of Gokul Swamy who is in the UK for the summer and wanted to play a bit of cricket...(with us?!?! - fool!) and aren't we glad he is!... bowling 8 overs, 3 maidens no wkts for 18 he also top scored with the bat with a brisk 31...but again with young Ed the only other batsman to reach double figures (!) we were pretty poor and all out for 82. Looking just at the book its good to see Ed was joined by younger bro Hadley, we picked up another new member in Will Thornton and for the 28th season running it seems we were done over by the wily spin of our old chum Tony "Packers" Packwood who bagged himself another chadwick five-fer!...nothing changes....

Surrey Ovalites 172 for 7 dec (Time) Chadwick 82 all out Result: Lost (no really?)

Weather: Nice enough Toss won by Chadwick (Field)

Lailey ct 6 Jerricho ctwk 2 Swamy ct 31 Perera b 0 Georghiou b 7 Dougall ct 2 Thornton b 8

Looker ct 3 Fordham b 2 H Smith b 0 E Smith no 12

Dougall 8 0 33 0 Swamy 8 3 18 0 Looker 13 1 37 6 E Smith 6 1 30 1 Perera 4 1 24 0

Thornton 2 0 7 0

22nd June v Merstham I missed this one too, miss all my old favourites, really must win the lottery and give up working! Always a quality welcome and match down at Quality Street and looks like this was no exception as we were put in to bat, making a bit more of a game of it than last week!

Although not off to the best start losing both openers with 16 on the board a 3rd wkt partnership of 53 by Cutler (26) and Perera (27) improved things.. a bit of a mid order dip followed by a tail wag as Dougall and Georghiou (12) put on 31 for the 8th and latterly Dougall (22no) with Ballantine senior adding 20 for the last as we took 44 overs to make 142 all out.. just in time for tea...always perfect timing!

However it seems they've added a bit of "quality" to their batting as in what is usually a close match between us, we only managed to take 3 wickets, the highlight being the maiden Chadwick wicket for new boy Will Thornton, lets hope its the first of many!

Chadwick 142 all out (Time) Merstham 145 for 3 Result: Lost by 7 wkts

Weather: Perfect Toss won by : Merstham (Field)

Lailey lbw 4 Jerricho b 5 Cutler ct 26 Perera b 27 Thornton ro 4 Fordham ct 8 Georghiou lbw 12

Looker b 4 Dougall no 22 Grifith ct 0 T Ballantine b 6

Griffith 8 2 18 0 Looker 6 0 21 0 Cutler 8.4 0 21 0 Thornton 5 1 10 1 Perera 6 1 211 Dougall 7 1 31 0

29th June v Merton well..you wait all season for a 142 and two come along at once...how spooky is that! Only this week it was the oppo who got the 142 and we managed to pass it and in some style!!

Again i couldn't play but did manage to arrive at the game in time for Tea!...timing, timing, timing...its all about the timing love! Lailey's tossing has started to wane as he lost for the second week running and we were asked to bowl with the 5 bowlers used contributing fairly equally...in particular maiden wickets (2) for Gokul Swamy and a terrifically tight spell of 5 overs, 2 maidens, 1 for 9 from Cutler.

The amusing part of the day was Merton's scorer, unable to hear "bowlers names" used his own code which i also used when copying the book...so "Greensleeves" is Ed Smith (looking like a winner of the sartorial elegance award for the 4th season running Teddy boy!) "Black Shoes" is ..(now new member) Gokul Swamy (might run Teddy a close 2nd on the SE vote) "Goochie" is...Gamini Talpe.. didn't quite get that one...(never new Graham Gooch was Sri Lankan!), "Lanky" is...Toby Cutler... more gazelle like i feel, but my favourite of all is..."W I"... for Joe Griffith...now i know its obviously for West Indian, but i think a more fitting description is...Womens Institute...!!

During the Tea interval presentations of club badges were made to the new members, Andreas nicked a few more to sell on e-bay, and, without dropping it ..Tim "Teflon" Ballantine FINALLY handed over the "framed khaki whites" aka The Martin Lailey Sartorial Elegance Award to the winner Ed Smith

who has only waited 3 years for Tim to dig the award out of his loft!!...Tim then immediately gained his own nomination by pouring his tea all down his front, evidence of all the above on the pics page!

Not sure what was in the tea... but we only needed the 3 batsmen to win this one as Gamini Talpe returned to his old form with a sparkling 56, enjoying a 1st wkt stand of 93 with Gokul Swamy who, having been joined by Toby Cutler added a 2nd wkt stand of 50 not out to win the match. Gokul adding to his maiden Chadwick wickets with a maiden half century, ending 52 not out. Never shy of hitting the ball Toby hit his 16 (no) facing only 12 deliveries!....though I feel the victory was entirely down to me as umpiring, with the scores level, I had to "no-ball" the 12 year old bowler to gain the winning run...HE OVERSTEPPED BY MILES!!!!....Mal In Vic..!

Merton 142 for 7 (40) Chadwick 143 for 1 Result: WON by 9 wkts!

Weather: Beautiful Toss won By: Merton (Bat)

Talpe ctwk 56 Swamy no 52 Cutler no 16 Thornton, Jerricho, Perera, Georghiou, Lailey, Griffith,

T Ballantine and E Smith DNB

E Smith 10 1 28 2 Swamy 8 0 28 2 Griffith 10 3 29 1 Talpe 7 1 34 0 Cutler 5 2 9 1

Editors note...

As this match was played virtually in Crossy's back yard...I invited myself round his house for a cold one and a chat in the vain hope of tempting him back into his whites, but sadly I fear we may have lost our "all time 2nd highest wicket taker" and "most not outs" batsman* (* use that term loosely..lol..) to the scurge of Chadwick...apathy....(and he was a little bit greyer than when i saw him last!)...

I for one hope NOT!!

6th July v Old Paulines... amazingly a report was provided for this game by Mr Jerricho!! Cut and paste...and here it is...

Ok, here's a summary of memorable moments, which you might like to put into your own words, I've added a couple of fruit and veg refs, but I'm sure you'll find more. (who me? surely not! ..may just "prune" it a bit...ed.)

RAIN!

A doubting Chadwick 11 turned up convinced 'we won't be able to play in this', and then the rain stopped.

Rocky Lailey lost the toss (turning into a bit of a tosser after all maybe) and we fielded...but not before Mr Ballantine had had to make a trip down the corridor to grovel for keeper's kit. Thing is, Tim was supposed to collect kit from Ed, but/and/well...he forgot. What a lemon.

Game started under clearing skies and soon they were one down when Georghiou took an absolute peach of a catch. It was enough to gain many (Endive)our votes at the end of the day. We made a good start, Griffith bowling his very tidy usual spell. ("Tidy spell" !?!.. bit of an understatement...typical batsman.. astonishing spell of 9 Overs..SIX Maidens...1 for 9...ed) But poor catching let us down, and one of their openers who went on to make 118 not out, was dropped on 5. Yep! And Tim Ballantine had made a fine attempt at a catch, but juggled it like a hot potato before it finally found it's way to earth. This meant that under surprisingly blue skies, they declared at tea on 195 for 4. Will Thornton had managed a fine spell in that time, taking two fine wickets. (thats fine then... ed)

Tea...RAIN!

End of tea...blue skies!

Chadwick got off to a fair start with Talpe finding the boundary regularly. But it didn't last long (G check out stats for all this stuff), (ok he made 27 ..3 fours...ed) Talpe and Cutler (24) shared a 2nd wkt stand of 48 with Dougall (13) one of only two other batsman to reach double figures so before long it was all down to Tim Ballantine to bat it out with Joe Griffith (33 no) to save the game with 3 overs to go. We failed!

(interestingly for a statto...4 batsmen scored 1 and the other 3 scored 4 spookily symetric!)

End of game...RAIN!

Notable however is the fact that our Umpires managed to give 5 LBWs, which more or less handed them victory. Think we need to look at this..maybe..perhaps..ish!

And just to round it all off, Jerricho managed to forget the MM's book, so all votes/availability etc were scribbled on a napkin. It's ok, I can read it. What a ."........." fill in the space. PGJ ...(oh please let me, please, pleeeease...ed)

Old Paulines 194 for 4 dec (Time) Chadwick 122 All Out Result: Lost by loads or 6 wkts..

Weather: Guessing it was showery! Toss won by: Old Paulines (Bat)

Talpe c 27 Cox lbw 1 Cutler b 24 Georghiou b 1 Jerricho ct 4 Thornton lbw 4 Dougall lbw 13

Griffith no 33 Lailey ct 4 Fordham lbw 1 T Ballantine lbw 1

Griffith 9 6 9 1 Dougall 9 2 32 0 Cutler 4 0 21 0 Cox 5 0 31 0 Thornton 10 2 46 2

Georghiou 8 0 52 0

13th July v Banstead our second visit to the beautiful Banstead and thanks to the firsts having their match cancelled at 20 minutes notice (how sporting!) we benefitted and played on the main ground!

Banstead won the toss and opted to bat...i missed the first over as i was in the dressing room copying out the last weeks stats so i can do reports and no-one told me we were starting! As usual they batted well, but we were not without our chances, it was just one of those days when everything fell short. Young Ed Smith really developing into a consistent opening bowler and with ever reliable Joe Griffith pinning them down at the other end as they initially found it hard to score. Ed struck first, the ball flying skyhigh to point for a dolly catch for guest Dan Saunders...it took an age to come down and the look on his face was an absolute picture!...oh the pressure!! Cutler's decided he's too old to come off the long run for pace bowling (not quite how he puts it but we know the truth! lol) and flung up a few overs of spin, bagging a brace, one notably to a terrific catch by other guest Harold (get everything in the way) Thompson!.. having previously stopped a certain 4 with his chest this time he used his hands and, juggling act over, the catch was complete and he took the applause!! Young Will Ballantine also bagging a brace (despite a suspect action which we will correct, won't we Will!?!) and who topped those catches with an absolute screamer??? ...only Teflon, thats who!! an amazing one handed reflex action up high and right, off a thick edge and in it went...it was almost as if someone had thrown some money.... Fawcett the only other wicket taker as they declared at tea on 218 for 6.

Now i can't go to Banstead and not mention the tea...and the usual "abuse" (lol) which was even more memorable this time as i was "propositioned" by tea lady supremo Elaine!!... (who is currently single!!)...now, I could use so many jokes about cream and buns and meat in between two slices etc but I'm far too polite!... i'll just say...nice meringues!

Back to the cricket and our top order did ok!... Dougall (ct 22) first to fall frustratingly easily after a solid start. Rocky was also going well and enjoyed a second wkt stand of 75 with Cutler, when he tweaked a hamstring and had to continue with a runner, which "offically" should have been Ali D but as he'd "just got bloody changed", Banstead graciously and sportingly allowed young Ed to run for him and strangely the 40 year age gap didn't seem to affect the outcome, especially as Ed managed to RUN OUT THE CAPTAIN ON 48!!!!!....twit.

Well into the last 20 overs it looked like we were still in it with only a handful of wickets down and an attainable run rate, but then the infamous Chadwick Collapse!...and it was time to try and bat out the draw...which included Will B "playing on", the ball hit the stumps but the bails stayed firm!...but then he was C&B for 1 two balls later! Will out with 3 balls remaining sent a "confident" Fawcett scurrying to pad up as Teflon strode to the middle!!..but fear not Teflon stood firm with Smithy and we salvaged the draw finishing on 176 for 9.

Other notable highlights of the day was seeing Daddy Don Cutler "donning" (ya see what i did there?) the white coat and Ed Smith nominating himself yet again for the award for sartorial elegance as he batted in red and white hooped football socks!! Give it him now!

As always it was tough to leave the bar after...but come 9 o/c it was past Bill's bedtime and leave we did!!....he'll get me for that!

Cocktail sausage Elaine?

Banstead 218 for 6 dec (Time) Chadwick 176 for 9 Result: Match Drawn

Toss won by Banstead (Bat) Weather: Nice enough!

Lailey ro 48 Dougall ct 22 Cutler ct 37 Harold Thompson** ct 7 Griffith ct 39 Thornton b 10

Dan Saunders** b 0 W Ballantine c&b 1 E Smith no 4 T Ballantine no 5 Fawcett dnb

E Smith 10 1 45 1 Griffith 8 1 26 0 Cutler 10 2 46 2 Thornton 7 0 37 0 W Ballantine 5 0 38 2

Fawcett 5 0 23 1 Dougall 1 0 6 0

20th July v Actors Anonymous still awaiting match report.... but do know there was a 4th wkt partnership of 83 not out..Perera & Thompson..

Actors Anonymous 119 All Out (35 Overs) Chadwick 120 for 3 Result: Won by 7 wkts

Toss won by Actors Anon (Bat) Weather: Sunny

Griffith ro 6 Jerricho b 6 Talpe b 2 Perera no 65 Thompson** no 14 Georghiou, Chris Mondue**

E Smith, Fordham, Thornton, T Ballantine dnb

E Smith 7 0 33 2 Griffith 5 1 11 2 Thornton 7 2 20 1 Chris Mondue** 3 0 9 1 Georghiou 4 1 18 0

Fordham 3.1 0 12 2 Perera 2 0 7 2

27th July v Headley still awaiting match report but apparently the highlight was Jerricho being lambasted for shocking cricket by a drunk on the boundary...oh and a century for Swamey and 6 wickets for Cutler...but anyone get a video of the main event????...I'll pay...

Chadwick 218 for 7 dec (Time) Headley 132 All Out Result: Won by 3 wkts and a shed load of runs

Toss won by: Chadwick (Bat) Weather Sunny & Hot

Swamy ro 104 Cutler ct 17 Talpe c&b 0 Perera ct 6 Jerricho b 7 Cox b 27 Griffith no 29

Thornton b 1 W Ballantine no 7 Lailey, T Ballantine dnb

Griffith 9 2 23 1 Cutler 20 4 60 6 Swamy 5 1 11 1 Thornton 6 1 21 2